Secrets Out!

Well, I am ready to share my first big secret with the world! There have been quite an interesting series of events that have happened over the last couple of weeks and it has all been a lot to take in!!

I am guessing that some of you have gathered (from my not so subtle posting) that I am pregnant!! Yeah!!!

And shame on who ever was inconsiderate enough to guess my secret and post it on my blog...... ok.. Rant time... Good for you, you win, you guessed it.. but I cannot believe that someone would post "YOUR PREGNANT!!", clear as day for all to see, my friends, my family and everyone else, something that I clearly did not want anyone to know.... that is why I said " Im not ready to share my secret with the world" But someone took it upon themselves to shout it out without any thought to what is going on is someone else's life.... augh!! Ok- I am done!!

So - anyhow, On Oct 23 my whole world changed after peeing on a stick... talk about irony. How is it that something so miniscule can cause so much joy, fear, shock, turmoil and utter happiness? 2 little blue lines, that result from the hormone that is making you a raving lunatic but you are just unaware of it's presence. Well, I honestly did not believe with any ounce in my soul that I was pregnant. I simply could not for the life of me remember when my last period was, so just to clear the air..... (smack, much to my surprise!) so I went to the local Walgreens and bought the cheapest Prego test I could get my not so pregnant hands on.... Came home and went.... and... nothing....

Nothing showed up on the test at all. It appeared that I may have completely missed the stick and only managed to get it all over everything else..... Ugh, what is a girl to do... I went and ran a mile.. I mean what better than to go sweat that stress out... Well, much to my wondering eyes should appear... to little blue lines after my mile of blood sweat and tears... What the H#&@?

So I call the honey bunny, and the conversation went something like this...
"honey, um, please try not to stress when I tell you this but I took a prego test and there are tiny lines, but they are really small and hard to see...."
He replies...... "Bear, (oh yeah, he calls me bear!) Um, please don't think I am freaking up but I have to tell you that my armpits are dripping sweat!"

Gross, I know..... needless to say my overprotective Honey goes back to the local Walgreens and buys the most expensive test he can get his hands on! Guess whose the tight wad in this family!! So - in with the digital test I go... And this time I did for real get more on my hand than I did on the half inch wide absorbent strip. Soooooooo, the test failed!! Are you freaking kidding me... I can't pee again... I can't, I won't ... But I do... and the next text (which is digital) clearly says PREGNANT!?!?!?!???? Confusion, brain overloading, spinning, confusion.. must sit..

When I finally come around (well sort of) I sit down and tell Trent the only logical explanation... "Give it just a second.. it will change..." to which he replies.. "Bear, it is digital... it's not going to change!" After arguing with him for a few minutes, I just break into obscene laughter!!!!

So, today I had my first ultrasound. I am 6wks and 5days along. Due June 27th... but we are holding out for 1 day til the 28th because it my Gramps birthday. As you will learn, my Grandpa is my everything...

Huge sigh!!! aaaauuuuugggghhhh.... It is good to get that off my chest.

I went home this weekend to tell my family. I told my Mom first, with only a few tears.... When I went to tell my Grandma, I came close to having a complete fit... I am not sure why, but I just froze... and start crying hysterically... my Mom had to take the phone from me and tell her...

I was joking with my friends about how nervous I was to tell my family. I said that figured it was because it was the ultimate admission that I am and have had sex... which is something that is basically taboo to speak about amongst my family...
Hello - I have lived with the man for 3 1/2 years... I know that they know that I know that they know.... but, it is just easier to pretend that I am their perfect little Erica... that lives in denial and delusion!!

Anyhow, I did it! It is all out on the table...
Thanks to all of you who have stopped by and have given me kind words and encouragement. I will savor them all through this journey!!

Have a great week!!